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There's a beat at the end of the Meet Dave trailer, where the Eddie Murphy robot-spaceship (seriously, who's coming up with this stuff—Steve Urkel?) emits the refrain from "Stayin' Alive" in a high-pitched alien squawk followed by a mechanically abrupt grimace that reminds me of something Entertainment Weekly's Owen Gleiberman once wrote about Murphy's similarly radioactive Adventures of Pluto Nash:
"A space-comedy bomb that would hardly be worth mentioning if not for the rictus grin at its center: Eddie Murphy, doing his zomboid impersonation of a Carefree, Spontaneous Comedy Star, an act of such terrifying falseness that it has become the single most joyless image in showbiz."
Those sharp words may have seemed ungenerous back in 2002, but in 2008 they're almost elegiac. … 0
Multimedia messaging on the iPhone, finally? About fucking time, if true. In my current experience, when someone sends me a multimedia message from their philistine phone to my messiah phone, AT&T helpfully lets me know via SMS, supplying a link to a web page where I can view the goddamn picture ... after I log in with a randomly generated username and password ... as long as I have Flash installed ... which of course Mobile Safari does not. Which means I have to wait until I'm near a full-blown computer before I can painstakingly type in the alphanumeric URL, by which time that spontaneous shot of the neighbor's dog doing/eating something charming/revolting is as stale as yesterday's biscuits. … 0
Something about David Fisher's somewhat sky-pie plan for an eighty-story "building in motion" in Dubai, comprised of independently rotating floors, reminds me of William Gibson's descriptions of a post-megaquake Tokyo in the Bridge novels, wherein the city's future-shock skyline is reconstructed at the molecular level by nanotechnology, shimmering skyscrapers literally pulsating biomechanically upward with what the author describes in Idoru as "a streamlined organicism." I would use that phrase to describe what Fisher is reaching for as well.
In all likelihood, given sundry engineering uncertainties about the proposed structure, and various factual inconsistencies in the architect's biography pertaining to his credentials, the sci-fi-worthy project is probably more fiction than science—but it's an intriguing idea. … 0
In his review of The Incredible Hulk, Roger Ebert pauses to reflect on what is probably the movie's single most arresting visual—and it has nothing to do with the story or its characters:
"Banner's Brazilian sojourn begins with an astonishing shot: From an aerial viewpoint, we fly higher and higher above one of the hills of Rio, seeing hundreds, thousands, of tiny houses built on top of one another, all clawing for air.
"This is the City of God neighborhood, and as nearly as I could tell, we are looking at the real thing, not CGI. The director lets the shot run on longer than any reasonable requirement of the plot; my bet is, he was as astonished as I was, and let it run because it is so damned amazing."
Whatching that thrillingly vertiginous shot just go on—and on—and on—I was swept up in the when-will-it-end tension of the terrain and found myself reflexively reaching for a phantom TiVo remote whereby to review the footage in the hopes of discerning its hidden tesselations, its artfully concealed digital seams; but no: I imagine it was the most genuine thing in the whole film, more inherently dramatic in its fleeting seconds than the next two hours of CGI wrecks and effects. … 0
An entire season of Top Chef shoots in less than three weeks? The way the contestants whinge (and occasionally sob) about missing their homes and families, I somehow always figured the show takes a couple of months to lens. Twenty days isn't even rehab. … 0
A transcript of J.K. Rowling's remarks to graduating Harvard students on the occasion of the University's 357th Commencement.
While I've never been able to get into the Harry Potter books, perhaps due to a basic indifference toward most fantasy literature on my part, I've come to appreciate the author herself via various anecdotes, interviews and commentaries over the years. She generally comes across as level-headed and sensible as her work is fanciful and free-spirited. … 2
Apparently the new iPhone will require physical in-store activation. This is a huge retrenchment from the disarmingly simple iTunes-centric activation process Apple pioneered with the original iPhone merely a year ago. It's even a regression from every other cell phone activation I've dealt with over the past decade—during which time I've owned roughly twenty handsets (yeah, I know), all of which have provided the option of activation from home via telephone or the web.
I guess I'll be donning my bolshevik best and waiting in line with the rest of the madding flashmob come July 11th. … 0
There's something deeply gratifying about this account of C.S. Lewis' gracious, respectful attitude toward his young readers during his lifetime, regardless of what one may think of his writing*. Enduring kindness in the face of enormous success is a commendable accomplishment unto itself.
*And what is my attitude toward Lewis' works—chiefly the Narnia Chronicles? Ambivalence, I suppose. I devoured the seven volumes sometime around the age of nine, after my third grade teacher, Mrs. B___, began reading The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe aloud in class and I became impatient with her piecemeal pace. My innate completism impelled me through the series. I recall being childishly satisfied with, and unquestioning of, the literature at the time, and subsequently forgot most of the details during the following years. I didn't become reacquainted with the stories until Disney and Walden Media unleashed the first overproduced feature adaptation in 2005: which, while handsomely mounted, was also pretty corny in its Christmassy religiosity—a trait, it transpired, it had inherited directly from its source material.
I haven't caught Prince Caspian yet. I can't say I've much enthusiasm for it, but I suppose I'll have to sit down and watch it at some point—if for no other reason than to satisfy my still extant completism. Old habits die hard. … 0
"Researchers now spend a lot of time trying to understand universal moral intuitions. Genes are not merely selfish, it appears. Instead, people seem to have deep instincts for fairness, empathy and attachment."
Man, I'd certainly like to think so. In any case, "neural Buddhism" has a nice ring to it. … 1
This impressively detailed and articulated toy WALL•E almost makes me wish I were five years old again and still really into robots in an uncomplicated way. … 1
The Iron Giant begins. (I suppose this could also augur the T-1000, but I prefer to take the optimistic speculative-fictive view.) [via] … 0
"Remember when we thought pinstripes were cool? Remember when we thought Members Only was cool? Man, what we were smoking?" … 0
I find this commercial strangely charming. … 0

It's an interesting suggestion. I don't know that much about actual autism, aside from mild kidding over the years concerning various friends or myself being "autistic" about certain things, or the occasional Aspergerian aroma wafting off the behavior of an acquaintance, but I could certainly foresee a corporate/industrial environment where such spectrum conditions, wherein some skills are lacking but others are markedly enhanced, find specialized applications. It could be argued that those opportunities and applications already exist, albeit not explicitly so labeled—for now. … 0
"When a social norm collides with a market norm, the social norm goes away for a long time. In other words, social relationships are not easy to reestablish. Once the bloom is off the rose—once a social norm is trumped by a market norm—it will rarely return."
… 0
Long overdue: this site now has a unified RSS feed. The various subsections always had their own separate feeds, but now you can just subscribe to a single aggregation. Thanks, Yahoo! Pipes. … 0
Just plain sick. … 0
What pains me about this Google April Fool's wank is that I actually wish it were true. … 0
(I'm not really compelled/inclined to update STREAM much these days, but SCENE and SOURCE remain current. Just FYI. XYZ PDQ. ETC.) … 0
The trailer for Bratz makes me want to have an abortion, and that's not even physically possible. … 1
I like those new Trojan when-pigs-fly commercials, even though they sort of give off a creepy Looking for Mr. Goodbar-by-way-of-Jean-Pierre Jeunet vibe. … 0
Yes I love my iPhone and want to merge with it and make cyborg babies. … 3
"This is something I think Ridley Scott does better than almost any other director. Whether he's shooting a fantastical movie like Alien (1979), or a realistic one like Black Hawk Down (2001), you always know where you are in the movie's physical space. Blade Runner is unmatched by any other sci-fi film in terms of feeling like you're in an environment you understand." … 0
"From all appearances, there are only three reasons God produces a Great Flood here: 1. Because it's cute when animals gather two by two (though totally unnecessary, since the flood barely covers the Washington D.C. area). 2. Because he wants to a stop a piece of legislation that threatens to shave off federally protected parks for development purposes. 3. Because yet another upper-middle-class suburban dad needs to spend more time with his family."
Well, that pretty much answers my one question about Evan Almighty: namely, how the filmmakers worked around that whole pesky "Old Testament god wiping out most of humanity for having gay sex and stuff" issue. Not exactly the stuff of feel-good comedy. … 0
John Lasseter (reportedly) finally puts the kibosh on Disney's direct-to-video sequel sausage factory. … 0
"To help pass the waiting time, I drew some pictures of me and my future iPhone!!!" … 1
"One day, your computer will be a big-ass table." … 0
"A quarter-century ago, U.S. Snooze, as it was once known, devised a brilliant marketing strategy to escape its own somnolent reputation as the reading matter of choice in mid-western dental waiting rooms: it would become the premier ranker of the reputations of the nation's colleges and universities." Oh snap! … 0
Heh. … 1
This wonderful terrible squirrel catapult reminds me of the similarly kinetic flying death squirrel from this Vault commercial. … 0
"I think the part I remember most was that when she walked into the room, this burst of 'clean' just filled the room. It wasn't perfume or shampoo or a scented lotion. It was just 'clean.' Well-groomed, I guess."
That's what I like to hear. Especially after reading this. … 0
The art of the tease. … 0
"Most people are surprisingly bad at spotting fake smiles. One possible explanation for this is that it may be easier for people to get along if they don't always know what others are really feeling."
I identified 16 of the 20 smiles correctly. Hmm. … 0
In my college days I once made fun of this girl named K____ for being the type of person who always thought earnestly about her response when asked how she was doing, and answered honestly—as opposed to a flippant, insincere Tony-the-Tiger-rific "everything's great!"
Turns out, in the intervening years, I've become one of those earnest, honest answerers as well. I don't think people always know what to do with that. … 0
… 0
Putting tuneful toon tots behind the wheel to shill gasoline sends all sorts of wrong messages but it's also frickin' adorable. … 0
"Concerned that the estate’s lawyers would impinge on his authorial freedom, Mr. Conroy joked publicly that he would open his sequel with this line: 'After they made love, Rhett turned to Ashley Wilkes and said, "Ashley, have I ever told you that my grandmother was black?"'" … 0
"Apparently when team Jolie-Pitt's pride is in the house other parents aren't allowed to take pics of their kids' birthday parties. 'Parents are instructed not to look at Angelina,' one source says." … 0
"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared.... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive." … 0
Heh. … 0
"You can't rush creativity. Well, you can, but then you get broadcast television." … 0
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the number one movie at the box office this weekend? Between this and 300 and Wild Hogs and Norbit, I haven't the faintest finger on moviegoing America's pulse this year. … 0
Sometimes I'm startled by the things people remember that I've said. I don't pay attention to nearly half the things people tell me. (The other half I obsess over.) … 0
Heh. … 0
I felt vaguely guilty for including a Sacagawea dollar in the delivery guy's tip, but what the fuck was I supposed to do with it? … 1
I've always held that Ann Coulter is just a glorified lowest-common-denominator performance artist, not unlike an insult comic, who merely says outrageous things to get the attention she invariably and unfortunately receives. That said, she's still a hate-mongering manure spokes-skeleton. Winking and nudging only go so far. … 0
"However, the only permanent cure is to go back to Japan—never to return to Paris." … 0
Seven years. … 1
Emmanuel Lubezki wuz robbed. … 0
"When it comes to best picture, the publicist says, 'These are five movies that will be largely forgotten. Other than maybe The Departed, as a cable staple.'" … 0
"Almost every story line was a dud, and no amount of Sorkin whimsy, tear-pulling or soap-box speeches could save them. In fact, those often made the stories worse." … 0
"David knows what he wants, and he's very clear about what he wants, and he's very, very, very smart. But sometimes we'd do a lot of takes, and he'd turn, and he would say, because he had a computer there, 'Delete the last 10 takes.' And as an actor that's very hard to hear." … 0
"The luxury and danger of being a screenwriter is an abundance of unstructured time." … 0
It occurs to me that I own an awful lot of DVDs for someone who seldom watches DVDs. I guess I like knowing my favorite cinematic moments are stored as ones and zeros on all those silver platters—within reach, just in case I need them. … 0
Seriously, bring it. … 0
"There really is nothing out there for those who want satire that tilts right." Um, and this dumb, derivative shit is your answer? … 0
The comments about Paula Deen are hilarious. And I, too, have often wondered whether Duff Goldman's cakes actually taste any good. … 1
Wow. … 0
"Of course, one of the cheapest journalistic tricks going is to get a piece of a mindless, tawdry media frenzy by denouncing it. The writer gets to wallow profitably in whatever gutter has everybody's attention while still being wry and high-minded. The readers get to join the fun without losing their self-respect. It's a win-win sort of arrangement for a certain knowing-wink-and-sly-nod wing of the media culture."
Just to wallow for a moment, I've also perversely been reminded of a passage from The Secret History:
"It was this unreality of character, this cartoonishness, if you will, which was the secret of his appeal and what finally made his death so sad. Like any great comedian, he colored his environment wherever he went; in order to marvel at his constancy you wanted to see him in all sorts of alien situations: Bunny riding a camel, Bunny babysitting, Bunny in space. Now, in death, this constancy crystallized and became something else entirely: he was an old familiar jokester cast—with surprising effect—in the tragic role." (p.357)
I should probably go think about global warming now. … 0
(Okay, several more.) … 1
COPYRIGHT © 1996-2008 RAZA SYED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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Due to unforeseen !@#$% |
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Saturday |
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Too drunk to function |
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Friday |
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Meat and potatoes |
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Tuesday |
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Do not squeeze please |
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Sunday |
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Who's a good boy? |
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Saturday |
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Just like on the Wii |
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Tuesday |
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Autumn at odd hours |
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Saturday |
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Pissteries of Pissburgh |
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