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August 31, 2004

say it in french and it's almost camus

"Vincent Gallo and I have a history."

Posted by R. at 04:55 PM |

english as a fourth language

"When we start the movie, all of these babies are talking about this Kahuna, and some say 'That's ridiculous, there is no such child! How can a child have his own secret hideout, and money and flying machines, it's not possible!'" You don't say.

Posted by R. at 02:27 PM |

meanwhile in other news

"Animal husbandry experts also cast doubts on the ability of a dog to give birth to a cat." Yeah, me too.

Posted by R. at 01:48 PM |

August 30, 2004

urban realism

Oops.

Posted by R. at 09:41 AM |

August 27, 2004

a good man in africa

"However, this African adventure does leave the rest of us wondering if we lead rather mundane lives. None of my old school friends has ever asked me to lend a helicopter to assist his ex-SAS mercenaries stage a third-world coup with a view to making millions out of oil reserves."

Posted by R. at 12:48 PM |

August 26, 2004

albeit marginally so

If you're unwittingly or unwillingly drawn into a discussion of the Lord of the Rings movies, you'll probably sound less dorky if you refer to various characters by the names of the actors who portrayed them.

Posted by R. at 08:06 PM | | Comments (3)

diaper gravy

"Biscane's arch nemesis is a Superbaby, and perhaps a Baby Genius as well, who goes by the name of Kahuna and looks to be in the 7- or 8-year-old range, a little old for a baby, but this is not a film overly concerned with details."

Posted by R. at 05:54 PM |

in the year 2000

About f'ing time.

Posted by R. at 11:09 AM | | Comments (1)

shameless

"'Any firefighter would welcome a visit from President Bush, but maybe President Bush should stop by one of the firehouses Mayor Bloomberg has shut down,' said Peter Gorman, president of the Uniformed Fire Officers Association."

Posted by R. at 10:26 AM |

August 25, 2004

breasts-s-s

"To keep female clients from having their breasts exposed while draping them for an abdominal massage...." At this point I start giggling immaturely and end up having to reread the passage.

Posted by R. at 12:03 PM |

new hotness

"Still, the discovery is a significant advance in technology: No planet so small has ever been detected around a normal star. And the finding reveals a solar system more similar to our own than anything found so far."

Posted by R. at 11:15 AM |

four is the loneliest number

"Gibson's $30 million dollar salary offer is the amount believed to have been offered to Bruce Willis for a Die Hard 4, Sylvester Stallone for a Rambo 4 and Harrison Ford for the [fourth] Indiana Jones." All of which sound terrible.

Posted by R. at 11:03 AM |

continuing along a theme

"When we got out of the lift on our floor and saw a condom machine in the passage, we knew we'd been taken for a ride at €270 a night."

Posted by R. at 10:24 AM |

bedspreadng disease

I've always figured as much about hotel bedspreads but it's nice to know my obsessive-compulsive tendencies have certain practical applications.

Posted by R. at 10:11 AM |

August 24, 2004

does anyone actually use nextel?

Wicked ugly, dude.

Posted by R. at 02:29 PM | | Comments (1)

August 23, 2004

eat it

"19. If I eat your food out of the refrigerator, shut up and quit being such a baby." Heh. Seriously.

Posted by R. at 08:15 PM | | Comments (1)

water water everywhere

The social networking software glut allows me to multitask neglecting various friendships. But maybe that's the point.

Posted by R. at 08:07 PM |

the first rule of imdb is

"And the thing that just scared us to death is we kept getting this one guy in the No. 1 or No. 2 spot, and he wouldn't get off of there. We thought something went horribly wrong with our data. And we checked it and scrubbed it. And it was Orlando Bloom."

Posted by R. at 05:48 PM |

what's not to like?

"The sandwich, which is made with chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks and french fries, has been crowned the best sandwich in the country by Maxim magazine."

Posted by R. at 01:35 PM |

ear, nose and throat

First of all: gross. Secondly: aren't doctors not supposed to talk about their patients? Like, especially to the press?

Posted by R. at 10:04 AM |

August 22, 2004

funny tasting

"Borrowing marketing strategies out of the playbooks of chewing gum, beer and soft drink manufacturers, McNeil packaged the Tylenol samples to show the mint medicine package bursting out like a pack of Wrigley's Big Red."

Posted by R. at 10:32 PM |

double stuffed

"Efforts to prevent people from registering and voting in more than one state rely mostly on the honor system." Is that a joke?

Posted by R. at 05:41 PM |

August 21, 2004

i can't fucking wait to see this

"The current version of the film is a guaranteed NC-17, with surprisingly graphic scenes of puppet sex. The filmmakers will have to cut it to an R rating, but not before they have their fun torturing the ratings board."

Posted by R. at 11:05 PM |

scene and herd

"'They see my actions as negative,' Hiller said, adding he'd do the same thing again. 'There is no venue for the regular guy to ask a question. We don't have access to people in power. And those events are completely scripted and controlled.'"

Posted by R. at 05:05 PM |

August 20, 2004

breast stop

"Unfortunately, your breasts weren't steady nor sturdy enough, so I kept falling. Along the way, your shirt and bra were torn off.... Your knockers, exposed to the night air, bounced with delight and glee."

Posted by R. at 06:11 PM |

August 19, 2004

freudian slip

"A Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined for Latin American markets, asked users to select their gender between 'not specified,' 'male' or 'bitch,' because of an unfortunate error in translation."

Posted by R. at 06:55 PM |

better safe than ... never mind

Ridiculous.

Posted by R. at 01:43 PM |